Question

Seeing or being in a different environment is always inspiring! I am planning on shooting quite a bit of film in the following days and weeks but will not forget about my digital camera either. It's exciting! This is the first time where I feel absolutely no pressure shooting, it's just fun. What an amazing feeling! 

In the next couple of days I will try and post some new images on facebook.

And the question for the day: Do you wake up or open your eyes first?

Seasons of Creativity

After a rather restful time away, I realised that the posts on here either support my frustrations of being lost and uninspired or the breakthrough moments of enlightenment. This blog is missing the in between stages of how creativity is developed and explored again after a phase of blankness and how it feels when it flows out of you faster and faster just after a high of inspiration. I will try from now on to include these seasons of inspiration and creativity. Then analyse the pattern, and try to change it again to something that can possibly increase it. Or maybe not, maybe it will just be interesting to see. 

Writing this I realise a slight decrease in excitement over the last couple of days but with a good chance of recovery. Is creativity as unpredictable as the weather?

Knosing

The need to be creative is a wonderful one, but if you feel uninspired it is terrible. Sinful in fact if that is what you strive for. You start questioning things around you. An experiment one can do which fascinates me is the following: Close your one eye and look at your nose. It is in your sight from the top till the bottom but you can't see it in its full form or shape. Does that mean that your nose is only half a nose? Yes sure look at it with both your eye, squint, and you will realise that it is blurred and exists even less as a shape as it is not as defined. The point I'm trying to make is that your face grows out of your head, out of your mind, so if you interact with someone face to face does that mean there is only one face in the conversation or two? You are only able to see the one you are looking at, not your own. Also, within that interaction, don't you feel you are in the space between you and the person? You are throwing words at the other persons face which only start existing within the space between you and her/ him and then the other person takes them in.. or not. Your mind seems to thus not exist in your head but in the space just in front of you, hovering there, ready to interact and explore. Tough it carries a wall either to the left or the right (depending which eye you close) of your vision. Therefore we know that our nose can be observed from either side and that it is big, forming a little arrow pointing us in a direction. Let's call it the nosal compass of our mind. As someone pointed out, people are counted or seen as noses, for example 'there are ten noses in the room' or as one would say in the German language 'zwei Euro pro Nase' which translates to 'two Euro per nose(person)'. Does this mean that the reason we count or see noses is the fact that it is the closest thing to our mind (physically) that we ourselves can observe and thus we being there becomes real? 

Being led by our noses, exploring the world around us being aware of the nose in the corner of our eye creates a very different experience of our reality as it makes us perceive it out of a third party perspective. How wonderful! This allows us to observe the observed behind the shield of our physical being which is protecting our mind, for now. 

The conclusion here, what does facing yourself mean?!

So am I doing a good thing here?

I don't even know how to start this entry, my head feel like it is surrounded by clouds, I struggle typing fast and accurately and knowing that so much needs to be done, typed and justified, not only here. I find that for the last couple days photography became just a thing for me, and it's not a good thing. I am not seeing the beauty in it or the deeper understandings but I see it as effort, of hopeless ideas which transform into burdens. And yes I am again not inspired and after looking at ideas and images I feel that I don't appreciate them anymore, they become useless and purely skill driven, having nothing to do with thought. That was never my aim, my aim was to create art that speaks, how cliche it might sound. 

Fair enough, I didn't get enough sleep the last couple of days which might have a massive impact on all this, but I feel angry because I want to feel creative and motivated again. 

This is to much information that has nothing to do with photography but unfortunately this post will be just that. Moaning. Because sometimes we just have to moan. And no-one want's to hear it because it creates unpleasant atmospheres and feelings but maybe sometimes it must be forced to take the audience out of their comfort zone. So am I doing a good thing here?